Don't Make Me Get The Moose
by Teya Yashitoda
Summary: A series of 100 oneshots based on a theme list I found on Deviant Art. Some ZADR, TAGR, and lotsa angst and funnies. Rated T for some stuff I might post in the future. Newest theme: 18, Roleplaying or Rainbow.
1. Theme 1: Intro or Life

Title: Don't Make Me Get The Moose  
Pairings: ZADF (or ZADR, if you're so inclined)  
Words: 175  
Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim, blah blah blah. It belongs to Jhonen Vasquez and Nickelodeon, blah blah blah. I like gay pr0n, blah blah blah... Wait, what?!  
Summary: A series of 100 one-shots based on a theme list I found on Deviant Art.  
Warnings: Description of human birth (very abstract.)  
Author's Note: Ok, well, I finally decided to post this. I have six done so far. And they are sooo much fun to write (and easier than chapters, might I add. ;D) This particular story made me laugh evilly; I mean, really, can you imagine Zim having to watch a human birth? -cackles- Oh, I'm such a mean little authoress...

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THEME 001: Introduction/Life

Zim's face turned an even darker shade of green as the images flashed across the screen. Why did human birthing have to be so _messy_?! All of that… blood… and so many other fluids that he didn't even want to _think_ about.

A note fell on his desk and, glaring at the scythe-locked boy who threw it, Zim opened the folded piece of paper. It simply read: _Enjoying biology class, space boy?_ A particularly nasty screech came from the projector at the front of the class at the moment, making Zim jump. He looked up just in time to see a head pop out of-

Moving his head back down quickly to avoid the pictures, he made a little sicky noise in the back of his throat. Zim barely noticed when another note, thrown by the same person, landed on his desk with a soft _thump._ Reaching toward it nervously (and trying to block out the noises coming from the projector), he opened it and read aloud in a whisper, "Me neither."

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A/N: Poor Zim and Dib... -snorts- I had other stuff planned for this one but I didn't quite think it fit into the ZADF category... Meaning it was really ZADR and I couldn't have gotten away with it. Bah, if I feel like it, I'll add in the "alternate ending" or whatever.

Oh, and for the readers of "Go The Distance"... I AM SO SORRY. Its on hiatus -dies- I seriously am having plot troubles. Inspiration has left! But you WILL get a chapter eventually, don't fret. It might take some time though...

Anyways... Read and review, please:D It makes me luff you lots. -smile-


	2. Theme 2: Love or Youth

Alright, this one is chock FULL of angst. Poor Dibbers...

Words: 120-ish (Not quite sure...)

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THEME 002: Love/Youth

Dib sniffled, curling up a bit in the corner of the bathroom stall he was currently hiding in. Bruises covered his thin frame, a few cuts still sluggishly oozing blood. Loud noises came from underneath the door, mostly from the group of jocks still looking for him. But they were too stupid to realize the trail of blood led into that particular room and continued on their way, looking for the "insane faggot."

Tears fell down his face in torrents and, try as he might, he couldn't hold the sobs in. People always said that teenagers were the future of tomorrow; and yet, they had never realized that their own destruction was corrupting their offspring. Well, Dib had seen the cruelty of children first-hand and it made him wonder…

When did the innocence of youth end?

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A/N: T.T Writing this actually made me depressed, so I'm gonna go write something happy now.. Er, hopefully.

Read and review, please! -happy smile-


	3. Theme 3: Light or Content

Ok, so I told you how I was going to write a happier chapter... Well, this is it. Its... sorta fluff and definitely ZADR, if you look hard enough. Anyways, enjoy:3

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THEME 003: Light/Content

The bright sunlight ghosted over his faces in dizzying patterns, sometimes hidden by the green leaves the alien blended in with so well. His contacted eyes were closed, basking in the warmth from the Earth's star. A light breeze ruffled the black wig he was wearing, making a gentle smile come to his face. It was such a gentle touch, so alike to a lover's caress; something that he had never felt before he came to this planet.

Before he met Dib and everything changed.

No, being banished was not something he was happy with.

But sometimes, Zim truly felt content.

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A/N: I hope you liked it! Please review! -smiles- 


	4. Theme 4: Dark or Change

Wouldja look at that? Teya wrote more angst. And is too lazy to count up the words. Thats pretty damn special.

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THEME 004: Dark/Change

When the curtains were pulled shut and ebony shadows enfolded the room, there was no way to distinguish solid from silhouette. Dib was most at peace here, in a place that never changed. In the dark, hidden from the world's eyes, he wasn't reminded of his constant failures, of all that he couldn't accomplish. The laughter, the cruel taunts, every awful thing that Zim had ever done to him, was washed away when he sat on his satiny sheets.

In a world that constantly changed and its advances in the world were limited to its technology, Dib was grateful that at least one thing stayed the same.

* * *

A/N: I've been relatively depressed and reading JTHM (yay for references to Jhonen's other works!) Hopefully my meds kick in soon and I'll write happier things. 


	5. Theme 5: Seeking Solace or Dreams

Kind of longer than normal. But I really like it. Yay for fluffy angst!

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THEME 005: Seeking Solace/Dreams

Dib dreamed of many things.

Sometimes he would be flying over the Earth, looking down at the people. All so small and insignificant in the long run, yet he still tried to save them. Sometimes he would be standing on a cliff, looking out over an ocean that had turned a strange color of green and a blood-red sun would be setting over the emerald water.

The most common dream he had, though, was of a certain green-skinned boy and a calm night by a beach. And yet, he would always wake up right before he could remember the other's name.

One day, he couldn't take it anymore. Screaming and ranting, Dib rushed into Zim's base, tearing up a wall and half of the sofa with his insanity. Zim watched, surprised, as the once-strong human broke down into hysterical tears of comprehension. And then, what had once been a strong spirit was broken by a society that had long ago turned a blind eye to the truth. He rushed to Zim, fell to his knees, and clutched the hem of his Invader uniform, sobbing into his stomach. He needed the comfort, needed to be accepted just this once…

And Zim had understood.

Taking Dib's hand, he had led him towards a bus stop and they had gone as far as the vehicle would take them, leaving behind everything. They both knew they'd have to return eventually but, for now, Dib was too bent out of shape to stay in that hellhole one minute longer.

Together, they walked on a pier in complete silence, both understanding the need for solitude at this point, yet not wanting the other to leave. And, finally, they made it down to the beach, where Dib instantly lay in the sand, looking up at Zim with a soft, unguarded expression. The sun began to set, bright golden flames illuminating the water and reflecting in his eyes.

"This isn't a dream…" Zim said suddenly, catching the human's eyes drifting into sleep once more. "Don't worry, when you wake up… I'll be here…" Dib slowly reached up and gripped a three-fingered hand, comforted when the other tightened their hold on him. After all, it had all started from seeking solace from a nightmare…

And turned into the dream he had always secretly hoped for.

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A/N: If you're confused... then I'm sorry, 'cause I don't quite know where this came from, either. -laughs- I hope you enjoyed it! -smiles- 

I've written 19 of these now and my favorite is coming up. But you'll know it when you see it. -shifty eyes-


	6. Theme 6: Break Away or Pessimistic

My first TAGR -is terrified of the reviews- I swear to God, I must've been drunk! But it was fun to write and the theme really struck me as something Gaz-related, so... Yeah. PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! -cowers-

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THEME 006: Break Away/Pessimistic

"You know I hate you, right?"

It seemed since the time she was born, Gaz had always hated humanity.

There wasn't any particular reason; she just viewed the population in general as stupid and tried to ignore them. The Game Slave 2 became her escape from reality, plunging her into a world where vampire piggies ran rampant and there was no brother to rant about stupid things, no alien always failing at taking of the Earth (which, she would tell you, so rightly deserved to be destroyed), and no father to neglect her. There was simply blood and destruction.

But she could always break away from the Earth for so long before pessimism began to seep into her bones again. Reality mixed in with her little fantasy world, clashing, colliding, exploding in front of her very eyes.

They hadn't meant to do it, not really. Zim and Dib were having one of their normal fights and it had escalated to actual punches, for once. Gaz, being the silent observer for her big brother that she was, sat near them, ready to jump in should things get too rowdy. And that's when Zim broke the GS2 by accident, stabbing through the side of it with a misplaced spider-leg.

"What the-"Dib had said, confused by the look of pure rage and anguish on his sister's face. She had never looked so broken and fragile before, so destroyed by the loss of her game. Then, surprising all three of them, the tears came, followed by punches and screams of utter loathing. The grief for her escape from reality was immense, almost tangible. It never simply occurred to her that she could just buy another GS2; no, that particular console had been with her since the day it came out. And her pessimism told her that nothing would be able to take it's place again.

That was the last fight Zim and Dib would ever have.

And now she had no escape from the world she so utterly despised.

So when Tak came and offered to show her the wonders of outer space, she agreed whole-heartedly, not even thinking of the consequences. And luckily for her, there were none. And then her pessimistic view of human life dwindled away to a bitter memory, as did the face of her family and all that she had once known.

Falling in love does that to a person, after all.

* * *

A/N: I... I should go jump in a trash compacter...

-goes off to do so-

Urg... please review... Even though it's definitely not mah best...

-dies-


	7. Theme 7: Heaven or Pirate

This one is so freakin' random, I have absolutely no idea where it came from -laughs- The basic idea of this story is that Gir keeps dressing Zim up in ridiculous outfits... Although, who could resist Zim in Jack Sparrow clothes or an angel costume? -wishes she had artistic abilities now-

* * *

THEME 007: Heaven/Pirate

"What the _hell_ are you wearing, alien scum?" Dib said, genuinely shocked at the Invader's crazy outfit. Said Irken was fully clothed in Jack Sparrow-like attire, complete with sword and beaded beard. Raising a non-existent eyebrow, Zim smirked.

"Is it not Halloween, Dib-monkey?" He responded, chuckling a bit when Dib blanched and looked around nervously. It seemed the nightmare world still haunted him a bit. Shrugging, he added, "Gir decided it would be a fun idea to put this outfit on me while I slept-"

"You sleep now?" Dib said, eyes widening at this new tidbit of information. From what he knew, Zim never got even a wink of sleep! Storing away this tasty little thought (Wait, why tasty?! Oh dear God, he _was_ insane!), he shook his head. "Zim, take it off before someone sees you. You look like an idiot."

"Zim never looks like an idiot!" The alien cried out indignantly, shoving a pointed finger in Dib's face while glaring angrily. "Just you wait, Dib-stink! I'll show you!" And with a huff, he marched away, leaving behind a very confused Dib. What did "I'll show you" mean, anyways?

---That night...---

Dib yawned, covering his mouth with a chocolate-stained hand. The kids had been especially annoying this year; each one had wanted four (FOUR!) pieces of candy! Greedy little bastards… Sighing and feeling exhausted from handing out the treats, he stumbled up the stairs, walked into his bedroom, and fell face-first onto his bed, ready to just crash there with his clothes on. Then a slight rustling of cloth and a sickly sweet voice reached his ears.

"Trick or treat, Dib-worm."

It could only be one person. Spinning right side up, he looked around, anxiously trying to find Zim. "Come out, you coward!" He said rather loudly, nervous gold eyes flittering back and forth over his familiar furniture; it seemed nothing was out of place, except his computer desk-

"Don't I get something?" Zim came flying out from behind the desk and pinned Dib to the bed with three-fingered hands to his shoulders. Gaping up at the alien, Dib noticed his attire had changed completely. He was now wearing a flowing white dress of some sort, paired with a set of fluffy white wings. Even his disguise was off, giving the impression of a devil instead of angel.

"C-candy?" Dib squeaked, too scared to escape the grip on his shoulders. Two ruby red eyes glittered down at him, mischievous and taunting. The human gulped a bit, Adam's apple dancing up and down in fear. Leaning down, Zim flicked his tongue over the boy's neck, making Dib gasp a little. Grinning slightly, he repeated the motion and made it longer, dragging the serpentine tongue over the warm flesh. His actions were met with a small moan and he pulled back, pleased by the reactions.

"Oh no, Dib-pet…" Zim said sensually, moving a hand away from the human's shoulder to drag it sensually down the boy's chest, making Dib shiver a little. "The treat I want is rare… But I think perhaps you have it in stock…?" Dib didn't respond right away, too confused by what Zim was doing.

"A-angel costume?" He finally managed to say, looking up with confused eyes. "Why an angel costume?" Zim just shrugged and leaned down again, moving forward until their lips were almost touching.

"It was Gir's idea."

Dib had never believed in angels before. But he sure as hell did now.

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A/N: Holy... crap... -starts cracking up- That was just completely random, guys. I'm sorry. I'm confused, too -laughs-

Please review!


	8. Theme 8: Innocence or Novel

THIS CAME FROM NOWHERE AND I'M SO SORRY THAT IT'S SO RANDOM.

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THEME 008: Innocence/Novel

Zim was always surprised by Gir's honest innocence. How child-like, how simple he was; yet, out of all of them, he was the happiest. Living each day as if it was his last (and really, with Zim as a master, who could blame him?) and having oodles of fun.

"Master!" The little robot had once screeched, seeming on the verge of tears. He was holding a book that many teenage female worm-babies had been squealing and crying over lately: The Notebook. "Master, why did they die?!" Surprised at the outburst, Zim squatted a bit, now on eye-level with Gir.

"Who died, Gir?" He said calmly, yet a little afraid at this break in character.

"They diiiied!" Gir cried out, oblivious to the question. A strange liquid began to fall from his eyes and Zim was vaguely curious as to how a robot could cry. Sighing, he decided to defuse the situation by resorting to the little robot's own insane thinking.

"Don't worry, Gir. They live on in space… or something." Sniffling, Gir looked up at him with bright cyan eyes, ready to believe in anything.

"Reeeeally?" He questioned, looking happier and happier by the second.

"Yep." Zim said, standing back up, a grin now on his face. "Now they're flying around Mars and playing with giant teddy bears of doom."

"Yay, they're doomed!" Gir cried out joyfully, rushing away and screaming something along the lines of, "Piggy, lets go get some potato ice cream!" Zim shook his head fondly; so innocent and clueless, yet the best friend an exiled Invader could have.

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A/N: Yay for ZAGiF?... I guess? -is confused-

Seriously, you guys; I know how freakin' random that is and... Well... I think it's funny that it's so random... Two updates in one night, whoopee!

Please review!


	9. Theme 9: Drive or Doom

For those that haven't read my story "Go the Distance," this is a little drabble that details a bit of Zim's driving experience with Dib (and it ends badly xD)

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THEME 009: Drive/Doom

"Dib-worm-"Zim gasped, clutching the seat tightly. "What are you _doing_?!" Adrenaline and fear crashed through his system, eyes wide and panicked. Dib just grinned crazily, hands gripping tighter until his knuckles turned white.

"If I'm going down, you're going with me!" He said menacingly, then laughed insanely as he swerved around a hydrant and managing to run over a squirrel with a sickening _squick_. Dib was driving like a madman (although som would argue that his crazy big head was already part madman.) The Driver's Ed teacher sat in the back seat, praying to God (whom he'd never believed in before) that he would make it out of the Hummer H3 alive.

That day ended in tragedy for six civilians, two mailboxes, a row of bushes, and an unknown about of small, fuzzy critters.

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A/N: I know that it was short but thats because I didn't really want to detail EVERYTHING that happened -laughs- That last sentence is taken directly from "Go the Distance" and you should go read that story if you haven't already -smiles-

Please review!


	10. Theme 10: Breathe Again or Garden

Ok, just a slight angsty warning: This is between Membrane and his wife (who died and gets a one-shot later on explaining her death in my list of themes.) Its all a dream for Membrane but he's very sad and lonely. If you want an explanation for the randomness of this fic, go to the author's note on the bottom.

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THEME 010: Breathe Again/Garden

"I'm not leaving my garden, Nat."

A tall young woman with flowing dark purple hair and soft green eyes stood in the middle of an expansive garden. The overflow of plants seemed to stretch for miles and miles, no end in sight. The lady put her hands on her hips and frowned. There was a determination and finalization in her stance; however, it softened when Nat's eyes filled with unshed tears. Sighing, she moved forward and embraced him, cooing slightly into an ear hidden by dark black hair.

"Sweetie, I'm sorry." She said sadly, rubbing his back and little and pulling away to look into his eyes. An almost ethereal quality hung in the air, warmed by the sun shining on their faces. Faces weathered by sorrow and grief, loss and loneliness.

"Philos, please… come home." He said, burying his goggled face in her shoulder. Whispering words of endearment and of apologies, Philos rubbed his back, knowing what it cost him to say that. Professor Membrane was aware of the fact that this was a dream; yet every sound, every touch, ever smell was so distinct and crystal clear, almost real. And, for a man of science, such a situation should never have existed at all. But, when one is torn apart by loss every day, throwing themselves into work and avoiding the offspring that are the embodiment of his wife, certain things seep through the membranes of your mind.

"You know I can't…" Moving his head off her shoulder gently, she gave him a soft kiss on his lips and he was warmed by her affection. "I love you…" She said, the scenery beginning to dissolve and fade away. "Try to be a father sometimes, ok?

"Breathe again…"

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A/N: Sorry if I depressed you or anything. I know that's not his first name, I know he never had a wife, and I know this makes absolutely no sense. But I really like the storyline and will probably use it in a story one day. 

Philos means "beloved" in Greek.

Review, please! -bows and smiles-


	11. Theme 11: Memory or Sadness

Alright, random ZADR fluff/angst. Yes, yes, I might have taken the whole "Dib tries to commit suicide and Zim saves him" cliche... But... GAH! I couldn't help it! -cowers- DON'T HATE ME! And it is ZADR, not ZADF, although I suppose it could be taken both ways.

Anyways, enjoy!

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THEME 011: Memory/Sadness

"See ya, Zim. And thanks."

_Zim was struck by the memory displayed on the screen. He had been working on his PAK, trying to see if he could eliminate his allergies to meat and water. But it seemed his PAK had a different idea in mind. Zim tried to disengage the remembrance process but the metal backpack wouldn't have it, forcing him to watch the most significant moment in his 169 years of life._

"Good… bye? Wait, Dib-worm! Why are you leaving? Where are you going? Tell Zim!" The Invader's eyes narrowed in suspicion on the screen he was viewing. What could the Dib be planning this time? But Dib was still visible to him, a small, sad smile on his face; he looked so peaceful and serene, yet sorrow seemed to eat away from the inside.

"I'm done with Earth." Dib said, tears in his voice but not in his eyes. "You can have it." Zim's own eyes widened slightly in complete disbelief. Quickly, he set up a link to Tak's ship, trying to see what the human was up to. Looking down at the display, he saw the oxygen in the little ship was steadily going down, nearing empty much quicker than normal.

"Dib, this is madness!" Zim cried, slamming a fist on the blinking control panel in frustration and panic. "Are you _trying_ to kill yourself?"

"Yes." Dib said simply, smile disappearing quickly. "I'm going towards the sun now. I'll already be dead by the time I reach it, so it won't hurt and I'll burn up quickly. This is for the best, you know. I'll die and everyone will be better." Then the smile reappeared, softer and more carefree. "Even me."

"How do you know _I'll_ be better?!" Zim said, clearly frustrated and now terrified; would he be left alone in this world? He had only followed the Dib to make sure he wasn't doing anything stupid and now he had to stop the boy from making a horrible (AND STUPID, as he'd predicted) decision. The red oxygen light flashed, signifying that the boy had only a few moments left before the breathable air was gone.

Perhaps even two months ago, Zim would have let the tank empty and watched the human suffocate, maybe even laughing at the other's predicament.

But not now. Not when he was so alone in the universe. Not when Dib had been the only one to acknowledge his presence even when the rest of his world shunned him. Not when he learned how to care for another person.

Not now.

Hastily, he pressed a button that ejected a grappling hook, the metal embedding in Tak's ship. Zim reeled it in, hands shaking; he couldn't believe he was doing this! But he also knew that if he didn't, he would never forgive himself or Dib.

Speaking of Dib, his face was starting to turn blue from lack of air and surprise shown through in his gold eyes. Even more so when Zim directed the Voot Cruiser over Tak's ship and opened a transfer hole, letting in the air he so desperately needed. He'd been gasping like a fish and, coughing slightly at the amount of oxygen now filling his lungs, he looked up with tears in his eyes, both angry and grateful.

Zim extended a hand, almost pleading. "C'mon, Dib." He said softly, wiggling his fingers a little closer. "Get in here."

And, hesitantly, Dib grabbed Zim's hand and entered the cockpit, accepting the help of someone he'd hated for almost his entire life. Of course, that hate was now replaced by extreme gratefulness and tenderness. Sitting in Tak's ship, feeling his body growing weaker and weaker, he'd realized that, perhaps, life wasn't so bad. That there might be a reason to live.

A weak punch hit him in the shoulder, followed by a sobbing Irken half-falling into his body. Warm green arms encircled his waist, the tightness hurting more than the punch had. Dib returned the embrace, feeling tears welling in his own eyes.

Maybe life wasn't so bad after all…

"_Dib!" Zim called, turning away from the screen as the memory dissolved and fizzled out into nothing. A young man in his early twenties walked in, a swoop of black hair extending over his head and to the middle of his back. He smiled slightly, walking forward._

"_Yes, Zim?" He said patiently, used to the demands of the alien by now. But Dib was surprised when the same two arms from the forgotten memory wrapped around his waist again and a head as buried in his shoulder._

"_Your head is big…" Zim grumbled, voice muffled by the other's trench coat. Dib laughed, knowing it was Zim's way of saying something affectionate in a round-about way. Returning the embrace, he smiled softly._

"_I know, Zim. I know."

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_A/N: Yes, I know, the fluffiness will destroy us all. I have to go to the dentist now. I have cavities from it this. -head desk- Why must everything I write end up in Zim/Dib romance?! Gah, I love how Dib just says, "I know." at the end, though. I was originally going to have him say, "I love you too, Zim." but this was just funnier, I suppose. 

FEEL THE FLUFF AND REVIEW!

-jumps off a cliff to spare herself of the dentist- That was TOO fluffy... _SPLAT!_  
-dies-


	12. Theme 12: Insanity or Confusion

Hello everyone! I know I disappeared for about three months there but... But my inspiration died -fwump- I'm really sorry! I have up to 19 of these drabbles done, though, so... so hopefully I post all those in the next few days and I won't be disappointing all of my ZADR fangirls/fanboys too badly! -flail- My brain has just totally died on all things Invader Zim... So Go The Distance is also on hiatus, until the inspiration comes back -shot- I'm so sorry, everyone!

Anyways! This entire drabble is full of crack!love. And pickles! Who doesn't love pickles? -giggles- It all stemmed from a conversation with Katie one day in Physics...

Teya: So I'm writing these Invader Zim drabbles-  
Katie: -Arabic accent- I AM A PICKLE! DO NOT EAT ME!  
Teya: ...Zim would totally say something like that, since his skin is so green and stuff.  
Katie: He should get amnesia and Dib should tell him he's a pickle.  
Teya: "You'll protect my pickly veins, Dib?"  
Katie: -trying hard not to laugh- "But of course, Zim, my love! Anything for you!"

And now, without further ado... THEME 12! Because life just wouldn't be good without random ZADR drabbles.

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THEME 012: Insanity/Confusion

_BONK_!

Zim fell to the ground, stars in his eyes. Something in his PAK disconnected when he hit the field and, for a moment, everything went dark.

"My Lord! Are you alright?" Dib raced over to the fallen green teenager, relatively tempted to laugh. _I mean, what kind of idiot gets hit in the head with a baseball?_ He thought, kneeling down next to the disguised alien and trying not to grin. Blue eyes fluttered open, pale pink showing through the contact lenses. Zim sat up slowly, looking around in confusion. Then he turned his blank gaze to Dib, looking utterly lost.

"Who're you?" Zim asked, voice much quieter than his normal dull roar. Clutching his head in mild pain, he leaned forward and rested his forehead on Dib's shoulder. "Hu-u-urts…" He moaned, sounded heart-breakingly sad about this fact.

"Wh-_what_?" Dib's heart almost stopped in his chest. Clutching Zim's shoulders, he pushed him back and shook him a little. "What the hell are you _doing_, Zim?!" Even more surprise came as the alien squeaked in fear, wringing his hands in his lap and closing his eyes.

"Where am I? _Who_ am I?" Zim whimpered, looking scared and lost as he re-opened his eyes. The grip on his arms loosened and Dib's mouth gaped open in shock.

"You don't remember _anything_?!" He blurted out, looking just as dazed and confused as Zim did. The alien in question just nodded, now looking around with mild interest. Groaning, he rested on Dib's shoulder again and this time, the human let him. "Well…" He started, deciding to screw around with Zim's head a little. "You're really a pickle. Your name is Zim and half of the world is out to eat you. But not me!" He added hastily, seeing the panic in the other's eyes. "I'm the only one who's protecting you."

"You'll protect me?" Zim said, eyes shining with trust as he clutched the boy's un-smiling smiley face in his three-clawed fingers. "You'll make sure no one eats me and sucks my delicious juice from my pickle-y veins?" Dib was rather surprised by this outburst; in all honesty, he had thought that Zim was joking. But no, it seemed that the other really had amnesia.

Might as well have fun with it, right?

"Of course I'll protect you, Zim! We're best friends!" Oh, this was going to be fun when Zim regained his memory. Dib was going to make sure he got pictures before that happened, though. At last, his chance had come to expose the other to the world!

"Oh, thank you, best friend of Zim's!" The alien promptly leapt forward and tackle-hugged Dib, said boy squeaking in complete surprise as he fell over onto the soft grass. The lithe green arms of the other were wrapped tightly around his body and, for a split second he thought that perhaps he was dreaming. But no; no one could be squeezed that hard and still be asleep.

"Hey guys, look! Big-headed Dib and the green kid just got together!" The Letter M yelled out, pointing at the two teenage boys hugging on the ground. Catcalls and whistles, as well as groans of disgust and yelps of surprise, assaulted the boys' ears. The first thought to enter Dib's mind was, _My life is over._ Hurriedly pushing Zim off of him, he sat up, his cheeks a bright, flaming red. Zim didn't seem to be ruffled by this outburst , just simply confused. Dib just wanted to fall over and die at this point.

"C'mon, Zim." He said, sighing and deciding it just wasn't worth it to expose Zim today. Not fair, at the very least. "I'm gonna take you to the hospital-"Oh. Guess he couldn't do that; Zim's hand reached out and tightened exponentially on his arm as the two stood up. Wincing, he said, "Or I'll just take you home. How's that?" Hesitantly, Zim nodded, his grip lightening a bit. The two walked away, jeers and yells from their classmates following in their wake.

Zim's eyes were bright as they had never been before. Pointing to random things, he asked what they were and babbled happily about nothing in particular. For perhaps the first time, Dib enjoyed the alien's company and answer everything to the best of his ability, barely noticing how close together they were standing. Instead of taking Zim to his base, Dib took him to his own home; at least there he knew where everything was and wouldn't be attacked by a taco-loving, dressed-up-in-a-ridiculous-green-dog-suit robot.

"Uuuuwa! Your house is so pretty!" Zim chirped, sitting on the couch and looking around excitedly, bouncing a bit on the cushions. Laughing a little at the other's comment, Dib sat down as well. He liked this sweet, innocent Zim much better than the loud, jaded, cruel one he was use to. Still, he was surprised when the green body leaned against him. Almost as if he was being… _cuddled_.

"My head hurts." Zim moaned pitifully, eyes shut. "It must have disrupted my poor pickly glands… Whatever happened…" Dib had to stop himself from chuckling at that; instead, he hugged Zim around the shoulders, a little surprised when the other snuggled in closer. "Dib?" Zim said softly, looking up with a suddenly nervous expression.

"Yeah, Zim?" Dib responded, giving the Irken a comfortable, relaxed grin.

"I-I think…" Zim lowered his voice, as well as his eyes. In a quiet voice, he finished," I-I think I like you…"

TBC…

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A/N: I plan on continuing this very soon -nodnod- I hope you all enjoyed it, desu! -flail- Please review? -bright smile- It might inspire me to write more of Go The Distance. -flail-


	13. Theme 13: Misfortune or Freedom

Alright, well, does everyone remember that last MembranexOC I did a little while ago? Well, this is a companion piece to it. I have one more and then I shouldn't be bringing it back. Because het makes me feel icky feelings, sometimes -makes a face-

Anyways! I hope you enjoy it! -smiles-

THEME 013: Misfortune/Freedom (paired with 10)

A screech of tires. One moment caught in the frayed ends of time, shifting scenes slowly, each millisecond raw and razor sharp. Shards of glass tinkling in the air like bells made of dangerous diamond; falling, stabbing, oh God, the blood, spraying in the air in crimson arcs as a vein in the neck is stabbed.

He was too late; always too late, always too caught up in saving the world to help his family. But for that one moment, he was there. He watched her curl up over the children, protecting them and martyring herself.

Professor Membrane had always been strong. He'd never faltered, never strayed from the worn path he'd chosen. But now, watching his whole world being destroyed, thrown into the air and crashing in a rainbow of bloody colors, he knew he would never be the same. No longer would he be the father his young children would need him to be.

He watched his wife die to save his last link to sanity…

And never forgave himself for it.

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A/N: Alright, I like this one, a lot. Just... the symbolism and all of it! -flail- I hope you enjoyed it, too! Please review! -smiles and bows- Thank you!


	14. Theme 14: Smile or Inevitable

I love this one. Yes, it's ZADR but... It's angsty and not all that canon, to tell the truth. I hope you enjoy it! -flail-

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Theme 014: Smile/Inevitable

It had been inevitable: all humans must die one day and Dib was no exception. He had lived a full life, going to college and becoming a world-renown psychologist. Marrying his high school sweetheart (Gretchen) and having three kids with her (even getting a few grandchildren along the way!), his life would have seemed perfect to anyone.

But when the time came, only Zim was with him the day he died.

"So… You really want to do this?"

"Zim… My life was never complete. I'm tired of living a lie… I just wanna die and have people remember me as they have always known me." Bright white teeth, completely fake just like the rest of him, spread wide in a bitter grin. "Only you were aware of who I really was."

Zim didn't respond. Just reached down and unplugged the respirator and heart monitor. Dib's breaths got slower, raspier, more labored. But the smile turned grateful, warm, affectionate. "Love you, Dib-worm." Zim said suddenly, giving the human a smile back.

"Thanks, Zim. I love you too."

_Be-beep. Be-beep… Beep… Beeeeeeep…_

_

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_A/N: So sad, yet fluffy! Damn the fluffy cuteness! -flail-

I hope you enjoyed it! -smiles- Please review, if you read it.


	15. Theme 15: Silence or Idle

This one was really sad; when I was writing it, I was under the impression that Dib was being mind-controlled or something like that.

Regardless, I hope you like it! -flail- I know, two updates in one night, right? -laughs- Dang.

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THEME 015: Silence/Idle

For the first time in the five billion years it had existed, Earth was devoid of sound. After the final Organic Sweep, there had been nothing left behind: no atmosphere, no water, just a ball of lifeless dirt. No waves were left to lap at sandy shores; no humans to fill the air with laughter and talking. There was simply… nothing.

Looking down at the brown planet, Dib realized he had never felt more void of emotion. He felt complete apathy for the fate of a world that had shunned him. Was that strange? Was it wrong to not care for people who had never believed him in the long run? Was it wrong to know that it wouldn't have happened if he'd tried to save them?

"Dib-slave, come now." Zim ordered from the door, looking cross. "You can't weep for your people forever. Let us go see what Gir is up to; we should arrive on Irk in a few months."

Slowly, Dib turned to him, his face a mask of sorrow. But inside, he knew he didn't care. And, very gently, he began to smile, standing up and wiping away the tears he had tried to shed. But they had been forced; they were more for the beauty the Earth had lost than any of the countless children that had died.

Dib was idle for another moment before standing up and stumbling up to Zim, the collar on his neck flashing bright red. "Ok." He said softly, the same grin on his face.

And then, there was only silence again.

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A/N: Poor Dibbers. And Zim finally got something besides angst? -shocked gasp- Oh my God!

Please review! -bows and smiles-


	16. Theme 16: Questioning or Vampires

Ok, I gotta admit, I rather like this one. Even though I'm kind of out of the ZADR fandom right now (Ouran owns my soul -dies-), I still like this. It was done at a Church sleepover -grins- I'm a bad, bad fangirl.

Enjoy!

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THEME 016: Questioning/Vampires

Sometimes I think of Zim as a vampire. Razor sharp teeth, "come hither" glances, and evil in his very veins. I'm drawn to this badness in him, the utter loathing I feel akin to something almost affectionate. Only I can destroy him, only he can destroy me. That's how it's always been. That's how it'll end.

Zim makes me question all that I am, all that I believe in, all that I work for. It's frustrating, it's maddening, it's intriguing. I can't help but keep coming back to his zippered grin and blood-red eyes. Always begging for one more hit, one more cut, one more bruise. He promises eternal life, the entire universe, and I'm slowly giving in, if only to be with his abusive love/hate forever.

He drinks my innocence, my screams, my blood. And I keep coming back for more. Because it's all that I know and all that I can count on in my life.

Zim the alien vampire; has a nice ring to it…

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A/N: I hope you enjoyed it, desu! Please review! -smiles-


	17. Theme 17: Blood or Convention

Written in first person. Normally I don't like people to write characters in fandom from a first-person perspective, but I thought it fit with this one. I hope you enjoy it! -cackles-

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THEME 017: Blood/Convention

The color of human blood is so disgustingly red; rich and bitter, metallic and raw. I never knew it was such a horrendous crimson. And when it splatters, it thins into a more acceptable pale red-pink. I still hate it either way, though. Especially because of this particular human.

"Ugh… Z-Zim, what are you doing?" He whimpers, crying out in pain as another of my PAK legs stabs him through his shoulder. I wish humans didn't make such _noise_. It's irritating, infuriating, and makes me want to stab him again. Which I do, making him scream in agony. "Why are you doing this?!" He screeches clutching the blood wound in meaty fingers.

"Because he's mine to beat, to use, to destroy. My enemy, not yours." I manage to growl out from between clenched teeth. Because you stole what I owned and returned it in less-than-mint condition. Dib's too broken now for me to play with roughly. It's all your fault, you know… And for that you must pay the price." It makes me sick, the way he's begging and pleading for his life. "Absolutely disgusting." I snarl, raising a spider-leg for one final blow. The metal flashes coldly n the moonlight as it descends and then…

Torque Smackey is no more.

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I hope you enjoyed it. -gasp- Did Teya just torture Torque?!...

Yes. Yes she did.

Please review! -smiles-


	18. Theme 18: Roleplaying or Rainbow

Ok, well, this one was just really random... I hope you enjoy it? -giggles hysterically- This is so effing full of crack...

Oh! For future reference: 999prettyboy is Zim, RainbowFliter19 is Dib.

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THEME 018: Rainbow/Roleplaying

**999prettyboy:** Hey. Wanna chat?

**RainbowFlirter19:** Sure. ASL?

**999prettyboy:** 16, male, USA

**RainbowFlirter19:** Me 2

**999prettyboy:** Any hobbies, Flirter?

**RainbowFlirter19:** Call me Bid. And I like the paranormal.

**999prettyboy:** Cool. I like it too. :)

**RainbowFlirter19:** There's an alien at my school. It's actually pretty cool. His name is Miz.

**999prettyboy:** lol, awesome. Hey, do you roleplay?

**RainbowFlirter19:** Sometimes.

**999prettyboy:** Cyber? ;)

**RainbowFlirter19:** Only with pretty boys ;)

**999prettyboy:** Can we? –reaches a hand out and brushes it against your cheek–

**RainbowFlirter19:** -inhales sharply- Sure.

**999prettyboy:** Send me a picture of you, Bid.

**RainbowFlirter19:** Ok.

**TRANSFER COMPLETE**

**999prettyboy:** Dib-worm?! What in the HELL are you doing on this site?!

**RainbowFlirter19:** Oh my God. Zim?!

**999prettyboy:** I asked you a question, earth-monkey. Answer it or I'll tell everyone what you seem to do in your free time!

**RainbowFlirter19:** No!

**999prettyboy:** Aw, is the dirt-child embarrassed to admit he's gay?

**RainbowFlirter19:** I AM NOT GAY!

**RainbowFlirter19:** …I'm bi…

**999prettyboy:** Do you go on here a lot? –smirk–

**RainbowFlirter19:** Only when I'm stressed.

**999prettyboy:** So pretty much all of the time.

**RainbowFlirter19:** Pretty much, yeah.

**RainbowFlirter19:** I mean, not THAT much!

**RainbowFlirter19:** What are you doing on here, anyways? Sexual frustration or something?

**999prettyboy:** That's not it at all, Dib-stink!

**RainbowFlirter19:** Then you're trying to learn about human mating rituals?

**999prettyboy:** That's not it, either!

**RainbowFlirter19:** Pft, you know it is. You barely know ANYTHING about humans. How do you know how we have sex?

**999PRETTYBOY SIGNED OFF AT 11:57:46 PM.**

Mere minutes later, Dib learned just how much Zim knew about male-male sex…

And then some.

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I guess we never learn why Zim was on that website...

Gasp! Dib lost his virginity because of internet pedophiles!... -collapses in a fit of giggles, but silently points to the review button-


End file.
